


Thanks for the Memory

by Ultra



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Agent Carter References, Awesome Peggy Carter, Bechdel Test Pass, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Gen, Inspirational Speeches, Kid Natasha Romanov, Memory Alteration, Missing Scene, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Old Peggy Carter, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Red Room (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: 'Officially, she was retired, and at her age, nobody would expect anything less, even of the great Agent Peggy Carter, but when SHIELD had made their recent discoveries about spies from the so-called Red Room, they were glad to call her in and get any extra information they could glean.'
Relationships: Peggy Carter & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46
Collections: SSR Confidential 2020





	Thanks for the Memory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Entwinedlove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Entwinedlove/gifts).



> Entwinedlove - Since you didn't give any prompts, I just picked one of your relationships and ran with it in my own way. Hope you like how it turned out.

Thanks for the Memory

Officially, she was retired, and at her age, nobody would expect anything less, even of the great Agent Peggy Carter, but when SHIELD had made their recent discoveries about spies from the so-called Red Room, they were glad to call her in and get any extra information they could glean.

It was amazing how much she still recalled of her own visit to Belarus, to the facility that had trained little girls to be killers. Peggy had hoped things might have changed over the years, but of course, she knew better. Some things, some truly horrible things, always persisted, despite the world’s best efforts to stamp them out.

Now, they told her, the programme was called the Black Widow Ops, with girls even younger than Eva, the one Peggy recalled too clearly from her own visit there in ‘46, trained up to be spies and assassins. It made her blood run cold to consider it, and yet, when the agents told her they had actually captured and contained one of the children, she could not help but express a wish to speak with her.

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking, Ms Carter.”

“You might start by considering that I’m not _asking_ , Agent Smith,” she told the man before her who visibly quaked in his boots at her tone - it was nice to know she still had it. “Now, where is this girl, and what do we know about her so far?”

Sighing in defeat, the agent got up from his seat and gestured for Peggy to follow him.

“All she will say is that her name is Natalia, nothing else. She understands English, as far as we can tell, probably speaks it, as well as Russian, maybe even a dozen other languages, but she’s not saying anything else in any of them, at least, not to us.”

The look he gave Peggy as he led her down the corridor suggested perhaps he thought, as she did, that maybe, just maybe, the child would open up to her. It was a long-shot and Peggy wasn’t expecting miracles, but it was always worth a try. They really didn’t have anything to lose.

As they reached a locked door and the agent began to open it, he stopped part way in the process and shot Peggy a look.

“Don’t underestimate her,” he said definitely. “I know she’s just a kid but-”

“Oh, no, Agent Smith. She is much more than that. Believe me, I know,” she promised him, nodding once for him to let her into the room now, no more delays.

Peggy was far from surprised to find that a pretty little girl waited for her beyond the door that was swiftly bolted behind her. Natalia had beautiful red hair and piercing green eyes when she looked up and met Peggy’s gaze. At her young age, she could probably turn on the sad eyes, the tears, play the little girl lost so well, and get almost anything she wanted, but give her five years or so, and she would become so much more dangerous, Peggy was sure. Between her looks and her training, she could be unstoppable.

“Hello, Natalia,” said Peggy as she sat down in the empty chair on the other side of the table the little girl was sat at. “My name is Peggy. I was wondering if we could talk a little.”

“Nyet,” said the child without emotion, concentrating on the paper she scribbled on with a piece of charcoal yet.

“Hmm. Well, thank you for using at least one word of Russian that I do understand,” said Peggy smoothly, “but since you seem to understand perfectly what I’m saying to you, and we both know that the, er, school that you attend ensures you know how to understand and speak a great many languages, do you think you could try answering me in English?”

Natalia glanced up at her and smiled slightly. “Nyet,” she said again, lifting her chin, a challenge that Peggy refused to meet head on - she was smarter than that.

“Very well,” she said, nodding once, not even minding when the little girl’s attention went right back to her drawing. “If you don’t want to talk, I’m certainly not going to force you. Instead, I shall talk and you can listen, alright?”

Natalia didn’t seem willing to answer even that simple question, though the slight movement in her shoulders was very nearly a shrug of indifference.

Peggy cleared her throat and went on. “You know, of all people you’re likely to listen to here, I suppose I would be the last. After all, I’m just a silly old woman, aren’t I? And all upper-crust and English, I mean, what could I possibly know about your life and what you’ve been through?” she said, shaking her head and crossing her legs just so. “No, no, I could have no idea about you or how you’re feeling, except that the truth is, I absolutely do know, and not just because I was there when a group of agents and soldiers first discovered the school that you attended, not even because I’ve met girls before that came from that place,” she explained, glancing only occasionally at the top of Natalia’s red hair as she worked furiously on her drawing. “No, I understand you, my dear, because we are kindred, of a kind. We are women in a man’s world, even today. Things may have moved on a great deal from when I was your age, but men still dominate, especially in our field, and sometimes, they find it necessary to make use of us.”

She looked once more at the child and sighed when she realised she was getting no reaction. Peggy itched to reach out and touch, to offer comfort and consolation, the kind of motherly love that Natalia had doubtless never known. She also knew how badly that would end so she kept her hands primly in her lap as she continued.

“Natalia, all I want you to know is that your life does not have to be what it seems to be now. It can be changed and you have the power to change it. For as long as you are under SHIELD’s protection, I can ensure you are safe and treated fairly. There is a version of this story that ends well for you. You could still have a fairly normal life, if you choose it. Friends and a family of a sort. I can’t promise you a happy ending, Natalia, because life is certainly never a fairy-tale, but there is way out of the world that you know now. You don’t have to go back,” she said firmly, wondering if she had really achieved as much as she hoped when Natalia met her eyes then and smiled an almost cold-blooded smile that certainly did not belong on the face of one so young.

Without a word, she pushed the drawing she had been working so furiously on across the table towards Peggy’s hand. Swallowing hard but otherwise not flinching, Peggy’s eyes moved over the page and then she nodded, rising smoothly from her seat.

“Remember what I said, Natalia. Every word still stands,” she said as she crossed to the door, never quite putting her back entirely to the child as she knocked and waited to be released back into the corridor.

At the last moment, she glanced back and saw Natalia gazing at her, the snake-eyed smile replaced by something almost genuine, just before the door closed completely.

* * *

It had to be one of many memories that was wiped from her mind. Natasha knew what had been done to her, back in the Red Room, but there were gaps, parts she was sure had been manipulated or struck out entirely. From certain things she had heard about Barnes, via Rogers, it was pretty standard for their kind. Wipe out the parts that might give hope, peace, encouragement to break free of the bonds. Still, no memory could ever be lost forever. Much like removing data from a computer, it was still there somewhere, buried deep. Push the right buttons and it could be retrieved.

Standing at the back of the church where Peggy Carter’s funeral had taken place, staring down past Steve in the front row to the framed photograph of the deceased, something like a lightning strike hit Nat right between the eyes, so hard that she actually reeled back a little.

SHIELD had known about her, long before Barton had made another call and decided not to take her out when he had the chance. Once upon a time, little Natalia Romanova had met the great Peggy Carter, and that woman had given her a choice. It wasn’t one she took at the time, but she recalled now that she had wanted to, that something in her changed that day, even though the memories had been pushed deep down where she couldn’t find them for so long.

_“You could still have a fairly normal life, if you choose it. Friends and a family of a sort. I can’t promise you a happy ending, Natalia, because life is certainly never a fairy-tale, but there is way out of the world that you know. You don’t have to go back.”_

Natasha swallowed hard as the voice in her head came so loud, it was as if Peggy Carter was right there in the church, speaking the words in this very moment. Friends and a family. A way out of the world that she knew. It had all come to pass, in the end, and as an extra twist of fate, one of the people Nat was closest to these days was Peggy’s old flame.

Steve Rogers stood up, came out into the aisle, and immediately, Nat put her game face back on as she walked towards him, but in her head, she heard Peggy still and it made her smile a sad smile.

“Thank you,” she whispered, unsure why exactly, before she reached Steve, not saying a word of what she remembered, but knowing she would never forget again.


End file.
